“Where are your markers?” is a delightful play on words that will get you thinking and maybe even making a few powerful changes. The world has certainly changed since March 2020. As a legal management professional, having little or no control over much of anything is not your normal mode of operation. There’s stress, frustration and even numbness in response to what’s going on. But what if there were a way for you to regain control and stop feeling like you’ve involuntarily entered your washer’s spin cycle?
As kids, we lived in a land of make-believe filled with crayons, markers and made-up realities. Markers could record a world sometimes only we could see or imagine, and no one taught us our world wasn’t just as we believed.
Maybe you chased those dreams, and your role in the incredible legal profession is filled with joy, fulfillment and glitter. But the rest of us only use our markers to fill in the blanks when we’re asked what success means. Somewhere from childhood to adulthood, markers go from coloring our world to being used to determine our success. We may still use markers, but they no longer create a colorful new reality or answers to big life questions. Instead, they tell us where we should be. In our youth, markers were just colored pens. Now, markers convey a different meaning — they are milestones of success. They show us and others whether we’ve made it. The challenge is that where we put them seems to determine our happiness.
Where we put our markers affects our view of our position, maybe even our chosen profession, our business (if we have one), our leadership, our relationships and, yes, our progress. And that was well before the entire world went on lockdown, client flow slowed considerably and Zooming in one’s pajamas became the only viable option for connection.
The world has changed quite dramatically, but our markers have changed only slightly. Most of us are merely in a holding pattern while we wait for “things to get back to normal.” What if, instead of waiting for something outside ourselves to alter, we took a moment to consider if what we used to see as successful still meets those standards or expectations? Perhaps we can use this time to consider if our markers are still the primary tool to determine when — and if — we can give ourselves permission to be pleased and happy with our progress.
If you find yourself having rigid measurements for where you are in life or work, chances are you’ve located your markers. Success will be reached when there are X dollars in the bank or when the degree is complete. Success will arrive when Dad tells me he’s proud of how I run my business. Success will be mine when all debts are paid in full or when we have doubled profit instead of just making it. When everyone on the team gets along and respects my leadership. When we live in this neighborhood and get that kind of car.
No matter the marker, these examples tend to measure our progress toward happiness. Are we there yet? If not, happiness waits until that happens. But in reality, happiness doesn’t wait for anyone. Life moves on; so does your interest in pursuing what you once thought would produce the happy feelings — unless you lead your actions and attitude around those markers a bit differently. For the sake of your office, your firm, your partners and the morale of the team you have the privilege of leading, take a healthy look at what your key markers are and where you have them positioned. Which ones need to stay? And which ones need close examination, because you have finally realized that they are of no help to anyone?
THE MARKER OF PROGRESS
In the spring of 2020, the world seemed to have lost its forward momentum. Agreements made were no longer kept, contracts written were simply ignored or forgiven, and progress came to a halt. Those who value the marker of progress suddenly found themselves facing an identity crisis. When you value this marker, everything’s current status is not enough and good enough doesn’t exist. The current number of clients or a beautiful office location doesn’t matter; it’s all about what’s next and what could be coming down the pipeline.
If you’re always focused on what’s next, your clients will sense it by the way you talk to them. The team you lead is part slighted, part ready to give up, part feeling not good enough and part wondering if they’ll ever measure up. Leaders often hold the teams they manage to a similar standard to which they hold themselves, but this marker doesn’t write well on most human surfaces.
So how can you tell this is your marker of choice? It’s likely you’re unable to be present and grateful for what you have. Your decisions often have you asking “Am I good enough?” and your answer will rarely be yes. You probably don’t accept or receive compliments well. If this is your marker, nothing will ever seem to be good enough to outsiders. For example: the employee grateful for the news of last year’s bonus, who then gets an earful about the state of your first-quarter targets, may begin to question your credibility.
Ambition and progress build practices; being reasonable about the speed of progress breeds reasonable, reachable expectations and confidence in your entire workforce. Both are to be considered before giving your team and clients the impression that not only is your office not yet up to speed, but that you’re looking at them thinking the same thing. Is all that progress really the only thing you’ve got going?
